


Beneficial Transactions

by pinkplanet



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 16:22:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4752989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkplanet/pseuds/pinkplanet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun wants to do NSFW things to a SFW camboy whose channel he subscribes to. There are Skype chats, terrible attempts at flirting, and rilakkuma. Camboy!AU (Written for tapedworm @ lj for selubration 2014)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beneficial Transactions

Sehun didn't remember how he stumbled on the site, let alone how the site managed to make him sit still for more than ten minutes. He was the type who needed constant, mind-numbing activity to function properly. It's why he's a dancer and why he can't hold down a job that required prolonged silences. Like that one time he was a library assistant had been particularly disastrous and best friend-cum-roommate Jongin had never let him live that one down. He gets bored too easily.

That's really how his current problem started, anyway.

It began when he got shafted for the duo round of the Inter-University dance-off, and instead of him and Jongin it was Jongin and some guy named Taemin. Well, Taemin was admittedly not 'just some guy' by dance team standards, but he couldn't help but feel more than a little bitter about it. He was the one who spent those sweaty, hot nights dancing to Justin Bieber and Jason Derulo dubstep remixes with Jongin. He was the one who had endured endless bouts of innuendo about late-night horizontal salsa. His face had contorted so badly at the announcement that the guys beside him had whispered, 'Uh-oh, there's the melting wax face.'

So yes, he was stressed, and he needed relief. He had been celibate for freakin' ever (okay, seven months, but that was like an eternity in dick years) since he prioritized spending late nights at the studio instead of entertaining random hook-ups. Ugh, now he felt extremely betrayed by the universe.

The other guy fortunate enough to complete their motley roommate crew of three, Chanyeol, was ever the advocate of following the one true compass in every man's life - his penis. Chanyeol stormed into Sehun's space as he was reblogging a hashtag-deep literary hipster quote from tumblr out of sheer misery, swatted Sehun's hands away from the keyboard, and said, "Don't worry, bro, leave it up to me."

He'd only wanted a quiet evening watching the latest season of Game of Thrones while cuddling with pinku pinku (his Rilakuma plushie which he was certainly never too old for, fuck you very much), maybe drink some Chamomile and try out the garbled English accents so he could feel regal with every sip...

Ah, screw it. Actually, he wouldn't mind slowly beating the stick, charming the snake, and dancing with his one-eyed sailor to some amateur porn, or a really hot rimming video.

But Chanyeol didn't need to know that. Chanyeol didn't need to know much, and yet somehow, he managed to without even trying. It must be the product of either years of being friends, or secret divination. Those humongous ears had to be good for something.

"What the hell are you talking about." Sehun squinted his eyes for effect. It looked like he was angry, but really, it was just his trademark expression when he was confused, or curious, or feeling anything under the sun. His face kind of just slid into it naturally.

"I can see your tracked tags from here, dude. 'Sexy twinks,' really? You sure you're not actually googling yourself?" Chanyeol said as he made a smug noise and bent over Sehun's laptop.

"Ha-ha. Unlike two months ago, I have muscles now, see?' Sehun flexed said arm muscles near Chanyeol's face, which Chanyeol didn't even deign to acknowledge. Douche.

"Deny your twinkiness all you want. I know those teeny biceps are the product of one too many jack-off sessions-"

"Dude, you qualify as one, too. You won't even let yourself grow stubble - hey! I do _not_ masturbate that often."

Chanyeol snorted. "Whatever, man. I figured out ages ago why the laundry lady always gave you the evil eye. Anyway, trust me, this'll be worth your time."

He opened a new tab on his browser and entered _kcam.net_. A bevy of dicks and pussies slaughtered his eyes, some attached to faces that could pass for department store underwear models, but most looked like average joes looking to make a quick buck. Sehun had heard of sites like this before, where people pay to see shows from the star of their latest fantasies - from someone who resembled their dad to that kid they babysat last weekend. It was creepily intimate, basically one-sided cybersex if you ignored the constant flow of messages from the chatbox. It was apparently a huge deal for thousands of people into voyeurism, if the viewer count for most of the videos was anything to go by.

"... And you had the nerve to go all 'really' on me with this?" Sehun shook his head, still not even halfway towards convinced.

Before he could stop himself, his eyes went wide at a flash of what looked like a genetically modified eggplant swinging so erratically it looked like it was hanging on for dear life. He stared, not because he was turned on, but because it was... so _purple._ Is that even normal? Was this guy the human transmutation of Barney?

"This... isn't exactly helping."

Chanyeol probably took his five-second catatonic state as a positive sign of interest. "Helping what? Come on," he said, nudging him on the shoulder, "just give it a shot."

"Have you tried this out?" Sehun really didn't want to know the answer, but he knew he was going to get one, anyway.

"I've met some really nice people on here. Made my nights a little less lonesome, especially after me and Baekhyun... you know." He made a noise that was meant to sound like a nuclear explosion, but was more of a giant balloon running out of air.

"Um," Sehun said, "ew."

"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!" Chanyeol patted his head and left it sprung in all directions like the head of a baby chick, then made his way towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna make us some dinner. With my headphones on. For your benefit and all-"

"Yeah, yeah, get out."

He didn't know where to start, so he clicked on the first semi decent-looking guy on the top page whose status said _I like them veggies ;)_. It brought him to a new page that kinda looked like Youtube except it had a chat box next to the video where users with names like cockadoodledoo92 and analavenger0327 were leaving flashing comments in quick succession, like "ur cok so delish nom nom", and other similarly worded vulgarities from likeminded pervs.

The guy, who had eyes more white than brown and the strangest heart-shaped lips, was already half-hard inside his tight red boxer briefs with a cartoon carrot printed in front. He was preoccupied with chatting with his viewers, obviously waiting for the counter to reach his goal. _50k won for diq shot._ Okay, only about 20,000 more to go.

Camboy _CuttinUrVeggies_ ' "About Me" box had a menu for the range of services he offered - 10k won for a shot of him blowing a cucumber, 100k to put said vegetable up his ass. His profile said _Highest tipper gets a pair of my undies, load optional, will ship the next day. Will PM u for deets. No scams pls or I cut ur veggies. Dat means ur diq fuckface._ Why was this guy so obsessed with veggies?

Sehun scrolled further down to see CuttinUrVeggies' photo gallery and saw an album filled with several selfies of the guy giving the camera a serious, smoldering look, hips cocked at an angle with one eyebrow lifted suggestively. It would have been effective if the background wasn't a supermarket's fresh produce section, the blurred edges suggesting it was hastily taken before some hapless store manager caught him and kicked him out.

Sehun's gotta give this guy credit. He stuck to his theme, alright.

He bit his lip as he slipped his hand inside his boxers as he typed "show me ur bb carrot" in the message box. He half-expected his computer screen to go from one screen to at least fifty tiny screens, all with tiny ads advertising the latest viagra pill or online porn streaming site. _Please don't be viruses please don't be viruses_.

Instead, a pop-up screen appeared asking him for his login credentials. "The fuck? I need to make an account for this?"

He could live without chatting, anyway. He resumed watching CuttinUrVeggies, who just reached 50k won in tips and was starting to take off his briefs as he swayed to the tune of some obscure JYP song.

Fucking JYP, seriously?

He shook his head, emptying his head of all unsavory thoughts like dudes in plastic pants. He pulled lazily at his cock, trying to time his movements with guy's gyrations, thinking of this guy's ass cheeks snug around his cock. This camboy's hips moved kind of awkwardly, and he was off-beat by a second or two. It bothered the hell out of him because he wanted his guys with a little more mastery over their own bodies, or else he might as well be having sex with Chanyeol right now. Sehun tried to compensate by stroking to the the rhythm of the music, but it was no use. Maybe it was the weird ass username, or the fact that JYP was whispering in the background but he couldn't get the right timing. Or maybe he just didn't like this guy and his veggies all that much.

He noted, to his extreme amusement, that user _NotMiniChoiSiwon_ was clearly enjoying at the rate he was spamming the chat box.

 **NotMiniChoi$iwon:** oh yea u make me wanna go over my credit limit for dis month bebe  
**CuttinUrVeggies:** u lyk dat huh  
**CuttinUrVeggies:** dadi warbuck$  
**NotMiniChoi$iwon:** fuq.. is ur qt bod on da stock market cos i wanna invest my goodies rn

Sehun snorted. Reading all that crap made his dick go soft so fast it was as if he'd suddenly thought of fucking his grandma. Either this guy was a bored finance major or a 60-year-old predator out on the prowl. He sighed, yanking his hand out of his boxers and wiping it once on his bare knees. He wanted someone to get his blood pumping, rushing in his ears and making his senses stand up to attention. He wanted restless nervous energy. This Camboy was cute and all, but this act just wasn't cutting it tonight, pun intended.

He hovered over the 'X' button until he noticed a featured affiliate banner, where a cute boy, surprisingly fully clothed, was staring coyly at the camera with photoshopped sparkles around his head. There was a dewy look to his eyes, which was probably due to the lighting and the slightly out-of-focus camera angle, the same technique Sehun himself used for his tumblr selcas. But in all fairness, he looked like someone Sehun wouldn't mind meeting in school instead of in a seedy motel downtown, lower lip out and peace sign up. The banner looked out of place amidst all the pictures of wet assholes and swollen cocks lined up below the video feed.

_Chat with the cutest international boys and girls now! Guaranteed G-rated SFW fun! Subscribe to our featured VanillaQT of the week Deer420k and get 100,000 won worth of free credits!!!_

He clicked it, and was brought to a new page. The first thing he noticed was the flamingo pink background framing close-ups of faces that looked like they all belonged in idol groups, and the next was Deer420k's preview window reading _Streaming now - hurry and click!!_.

Sehun didn't even take three seconds to click.

The video stream took about twenty seconds to load. Sehun glanced below the screen in the meantime, browsing through Deer420k's profile.

Sehun was in the middle of contemplating whether it would be a great idea to send this guy a phallic passion fruit he'd seen in the grocery one time, when the screen loaded to a background with a single bed with two posters on the far wall - Manchester United and Cristiano Ronaldo - along with a boy sitting on the bed. Said boy was wearing comically large (maybe vanity?) glasses and had dark blond hair, a hint of black peeking out from the roots. Compared to Veggies camboy who was probably a size small based on shoulder width alone, this one was probably medium-build underneath the oversized red and black striped sweater he was wearing. He looked cozy, inviting and comfortable, his jean-clad legs tucked underneath his thighs indian-sitting style; he oozed 'little brother you could play online monopoly with who just happened to be overseas.'

Then he talked, and Sehun suddenly couldn't remember much of that 'little brother' train of thought.

"Hey, girls! And a few guys, too, as some of the usernames make it obvious. Did you all miss Lu-ge?"

His big eyes, lined with slight black kohl and lashes possibly lengthened with mascara, scrolled over the comments. He laughed at some, and thanked a few people who were obviously regulars. He said a few more 'preliminary' things while waiting for the tips to come in, such as, "Nope, crazycassie84! I didn't change my bb cream today. Still Missha! I know it's a bit expensive but Yunho says it's the best so I say it's the best!" and "I agree minahsgirrrl, Girl's Day's Something is one of the best songs I've heard this month!"

As much as Sehun found this guy disarmingly pretty, like ulzzang and idol-level pretty, he still had a bit of trouble wrapping his head around the thought that people actually watched this stuff, and regularly at that.

Then as if a switch was turned on, the camboy sighed dramatically, resting his head on his palm as he pouted in what can only be described as _really fucking cute_.

"So guys. It's been... two days? Since we all got together on this chatroom. Feels like it's been forever!" His back hit the bed, his laptop moving up to his knees. "Well, now, it's time to start the fun! I see we've already reached..." His pink mouth made a perfect 'O' in what could only be astonishment. "24,000 credits, wow! You guys are amazing! It's only been 5 minutes!"

Sehun gulped. Those fixed rates on his profile weren't just for show. This guy was an atomic bomb of cute and he _knew_ it.

Hey, if you were good at something, never do it for free. This guy knew he was cute, and he made something out of it. Sehun had to admire that.

"You guys know what that means. Time to request for your favorite boy group song while I perform a little something-something..."

Up until then, Sehun was battling slight feelings of pedophilia; for all he knew, this guy was a fourteen-year-old mooching money off forty-year-old sugar daddies. Then the camboy's nose wrinkled, and the light from the computer screen caught the lines on his face. He looked older for a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, but he smiled demurely and and it was back to looking impossibly young.

Sehun knew he meant performing those SFW services. Which people apparently paid for. In real money. Deep in his heart he knew this was all kinds of lame and ridiculous. Hell, he could be cute, too, if he gained a pound of fat on his cheeks and learned how to sing Gwiyomi without looking like he'd rather jump off a cliff.

Then the guy - okay, _Lu-ge_ \- winked at the camera and blew a kiss, ala Marilyn Monroe.

The chatbox exploded with comments ranging from fannish enthusiasm to keysmashing to outright marriage proposals. Many a sparkling heart emoji was sent. The counter ballooned to 29,000 credits in under five minutes and reached 30,000 after two more minutes.

Sehun, deciding he was probably depraved to the core, promptly did three things: click 'subscribe' (he was the 5274th subscriber); give 10,000 of his free credits to Lu-ge's account; and shove his hand further down his thighs so he can get a nice grip around his base, tightening his hold as Lu-ge stopped singing some song from BTOB or B1A4 or BAP upon seeing his counter reach 40,000 in the middle of his song, clapping excitedly and blowing even more kisses.

From that point on, Sehun was... well, whatever he was, 'obsessed' was not the word. Probably interested. His interest was piqued. Yep, let's go with that one.

 

Sehun had 'known' Lu-ge for a grand total of two months when he clicked the tip button and entered 550,000 credits. It was totally ridiculous and insane; he'd just spent two months worth of scrimping and saving up from three part-time jobs plus his allowance from the parental units (who thought he was spending it on books, god bless them).

It was probably because of that one time last week where Lu-ge ate chocolate-covered strawberries on-cam. Sehun's mouth went dry at how dark and red Lu-ge's lips became, wet with juice and saliva. To make matters worse, he wore a low-cut sweater with his collarbones exposed, the juice dripping onto smooth skin in intervals.

In the span of those two months, Lu-ge had done everything that could be described as covertly sexy or innocently slutty, a paradox which Sehun thought was perfect for Lu-ge and his supposedly G-rated antics - flip his cosplay Cardcaptor Sakura skirt up (he was wearing two layers of shorts underneath), lick an ungodly amount of Chupa-Chups (he had started complaining about in his status messages, pleading with everyone to stop sending him lollipops), awkwardly sway his hips to A-pink songs while wearing Honey-senpai cosplay (though entertaining, it was a bit stiff; it was obvious he felt uncomfortable dancing to girl group songs, but he gave about a thousand times more effort for BS2T songs and the like).

Lu-ge gave 'shows' four times a week, the schedule varying from 'late' to 'that time when vampires woke up for blood'. Sehun didn't mind blowing off a night or ten of clubbing with the guys to watch it. He found that a lot of people didn't mind as well, which caused him to seriously question Lu-ge's intended demographic. Schoolgirls weren't supposed to stay up this late, were they? He was seriously convinced at one point that Lu-ge probably had more than ten pervy dudes (Sehun included) lurking about in his stream, especially when the chatbox would have messages from people named _urdaddy4tonyt_ and _agedlikefinewine_.

Sehun usually didn't like reading the comments. Most screamed 'dumb fangirl comment', and these were the ones with emoticons stretching for lines around the chatbox, punctuated with colorful flowers, hearts and !!!!!!!. Some, however, were outright come-ons, even creepy, asking for Lu-ge's number and requesting pictures of his bare ass. The website had a policy against overly sexual comments, but since a camboy's page went largely unmoderated, there was nothing stopping dickwads from propositioning.

Lu-ge was a sweetheart for ignoring them. Probably just rolling his eyes on the inside. Sehun had tried replying to those comments once. It was also one of the few times he'd typed up something in the chatbox himself.

hotstud78: fuk ur so fukin cute  
urdaddy4tonyt: can i put u in my pocket and take u home  
mayor_oh: lay off perv, he isn't into daddykink

Lu-ge had laughed, grinning into the camera. "You got that right, mayor_oh."

But Lu-ge... sometimes did things that probably spurred on, rather than deter, those come-ons. A few minutes after responding to Sehun and other users, he'd started eating those chocolate-covered strawberries. urdaddy4tonyt probably jacked off to it, as did all the douchebags watching the stream.

"That was soooo good. I wish you guys were here to eat with me. It'd be like a picnic! With fruits! Next time I'll try kiwi!" Eating the strawberries had taken up longer than usual since Lu-ge hadn't prepared them before the chat. He'd set up the laptop next to a table and apologized as he cut up the fruit and poured swirls of chocolate syrup on each piece. He made up for it by chatting lightheartedly with his audience about school (he was a music theory major, which meant he was in college, which meant HALLELUJAH SEHUN WASN'T A CRADLE ROBBER) and added commentary about the latest Marvel movie he'd gone to see the other day.

Since time was running out for the night, Lu-ge made a show of tapping on his cheek in deep thought, resting his chin on his hand. "I've got it," he said. "Since we only have ten minutes left and I've already taken up a lot of time, whoever tips the highest, whatever the amount, will get my skype ID. I know it's supposed to be 500,000 credits." His mouth went up in a lazy but charming sort of smile. "Think of it as a one-time only deal."

Almost immediately, the chatbox began pinging with messages. Users tipped amounts ranging from 30,000 to 90,000. Sehun watched the amount grow with a strange feeling in his gut, his throat tightening.

"Time's almost up," Lu-ge said.

Sehun held his breath as he clicked the tip button.

 _mayor_oh tipped 550,000_. Lu-ge blinked rapidly, cheeks flushing a faint pink as his mouth formed that perfect round 'O' which Sehun had become rather familiar with.

Sehun stared at the screen, unable to believe he'd just given all that hard-earned money out. He considered renaming to obsessedandindenial_oh for a second.

"Well, someone's a big spender," Lu-ge said almost breathlessly. One side of his mouth quirked up, and Sehun noticed the lines around his mouth. Yep, Sehun definitely wasn't a pedophile. "Thank you, mayor_oh. I'll be pm-ing you in a sec. Goodnight, everyone." He blew his customary Marilyn Monroe flying kiss. Sehun wondered if it was possible for his mouth to get any redder.

Messages of outrage popped up in rapid succession as the feed darkened. Sehun felt oddly anxious all of a sudden. It felt like his first job interview all over again, or even worse. He licked his lips out of habit, but his throat felt constricted and no matter how many times he swallowed his own spit it didn't seem to loosen.

This was ridiculous. Not to mention so fucking stupid. He could have spent that money on a new skateboard or on that Topman hoodie he'd been eyeing.

A new window popped up on his screen, a message flashing _Deer_420k left 1 message_.

His eye twitched as he opened the message. _Hi! Thank you for the tip! :) My skype ID is mlm_420. Can't wait to ~*~*~see~*~*~ you ;)_

Sehun's stomach twisted at the thought of Lu-ge giving this exact same message to his other regulars who were desperate enough to give real, cold, hard cash just to have a private chat with him.

But he was one of those desperate people now, wasn't he?

In the two months since he'd subscribed to Lu-ge's stream, there had been about 15 or so people who had given him 500,000 and at the end of a session. It didn't bother him so much before, but thinking about it now made him... unsettled? He had this strange desire to really _know_ this guy, but at the same time there was nothing special about him to make Lu-ge think he was different from any other patron.

Sehun took a deep, heaving breath, opened skype, and added mlm_420.

A new window popped up, revealing Lu-ge sitting at his desk, wearing a modest, plain black shirt and his thick-rimmed glasses. Sehun blinked, suddenly curious. He could've sworn Lu-ge was wearing a tanktop earlier.

"Why did you change?" he blurted out. Not the best introductory statement, in hindsight.

"Hey to you, too, mayor_oh," Lu-ge said, and his voice was a touch deeper, softer, and more controlled. In most of his videos, he pitched his voice higher, more over-the-top, bordering on syrupy sometimes. To put it simply, he sounded like an airhead. It was probably what his audience wanted. Sehun decided quickly that he liked this one more than his 'show' voice. "Thank you again for the tip. Is there anything in particular you want me to do?"

He didn't answer Sehun's question. He wanted to go straight to business. Sehun was okay with that.

Problem was, he didn't know what exactly he could make Lu-ge do.

"Um, while I'm thinking about that," he said, "is it okay to ask for a name? Is Lu-ge your real name?" As soon as it was out his mouth, he wanted to bang his head against the table. Stupid stupid stupid. As if a camboy would tell Sehun his real name.

Lu-ge's head tilted to one side. Sehun saw his eyes slowly roaming up and down the screen. Err. Was Lu-ge checking Sehun out?

"Lu-ge is kind of like a nickname. Think of it as the equivalent of 'hyung' in Korean."

Oh. Sehun's mind scrambled to dredge up middle-school Mandarin basics. "You're Chinese? You speak Korean so well."

"Mm, I am. And that's because I've been here for three years. My real name's Lu Han."

Sehun nodded. Lu-ge - Lu Han, rather - was still looking at his face. He fixed his bangs a bit self-consciously. "I'm Sehun. It's nice to meet you. I really enjoy your shows." He should've said that from the start, really.

Thankfully, Lu Han didn't seem to mind, laughing it off. It wasn't that exaggerated, airy laugh he did during his shows where, more often than not, he had to cover his mouth with his hand. He laughed openly, mouth stretching wide. It made him look _normal_ for a second, a real guy with real imperfections rather than some online quasi-celebrity with perfect, dewy skin and perfectly lined eyes.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet fans like you."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, polite ones." Lu Han sighed. "Believe it or not, I've had my fair share of people coming onto skype demanding at first sight that I take my clothes off and fulfill their weird kinks."

"I... can believe that." And then some. Sehun felt a little guilty for actually scrolling through that option in his mental checklist of 'things I can make Lu Han do'. Yay for self-control. "What are you, uh, amenable to doing during these chats, anyway? Obviously not-" Sehun wrung his hands awkwardly. "You know. Yeah."

"Ye-eeah. Not that." Lu Han said. "I don't know, really. Anything that isn't soft or hardcore porn, I guess. I _am_ found on a G-rated site, after all. If they wanted some of that, they could've just gone to the affiliate site."

Sehun could argue that what he was doing, with the fruit eating and the cosplaying was like marshmallow porn - fluffy and sweet, but there were obvious sexual undertones underneath the veneer of innocence. Hell, the Japanese porn industry lived off that stuff. Lu Han must've known that. Or he was just playing dumb. Sehun couldn't tell; he was _so good_ at playing innocent.

He wisely decided to hold his tongue on that, only saying, "I see."

"I've actually stopped a lot of private chats because of it. There was a time I had to change skype IDs every few days."

With a name like mlm_420, it wasn't hard to guess why. "What do they make you do? Even the girls make you do weird shit? Do girls even tip that high and if yes, are they like, weird stalker scumbags, too? Err, sorry."

"Your French is excused," Lu Han said in a faux-regal accent, and Sehun laughed, relaxing a bit. "That was a lot of questions. Ok, let's see." He ticked his fingers off one by one as he answered. "The degenerates usually ask me to strip, send nudes, perform a striptease, finger myself or masturbate. Sometimes they'd ask me to do things like autofellatio or shove a food item up where the sun don't shine." His nose wrinkled. It was fucking adorable, as always. "I cut the chat when that happens. If I'm in a good mood I might send them to my friend who does actual sexy camboy stuff. He'd be too happy to oblige them, because last I heard he still had an... affinity with vegetables."

"Um." Sehun was 120% sure he was talking about that CuttinUrVeggies camboy, and was about to ask how in the hell Lu Han was acquainted with such a deviant, when Lu Han cleared his throat and continued.

"I actually get a fair amount of girls for private chats. Maybe 4 in 10 private sessions would be with girls. They have tame requests, most just ask me to sing full songs from idol groups in cosplay or just talk to them about school and boys and local celebrity gossip. No deep talks there. Sometimes even about shopping and make-up tips." He paused, fixing his hair just like Sehun had done earlier. "To be honest, I learned all I know about fixing my face up from youtube gurus, so I just link them a lot of tutorials, mostly."

"At least they don't ask you to strip?" Sehun asked helpfully.

Lu Han looked to the side, as if remembering something. "I did get a pair of... fangirls? I think? This one time. They sent me this BL drama monologue which basically involved a lot of pretend-moaning and fake orgasm sounds."

Sehun winced. Girls and their freaky tastes. Maybe it was like straight guys and their obsession with lesbians? "And did you do it?"

"Yeah." Sehun raised an eyebrow as Lu Han let out an embarrassed chuckle. "I know, I know, that's bordering on softcore. But it's just audio! And, well, the girls were really nice and they didn't scream or anything. They were like, shy about it and stuff."

"So the key to getting favors from you is being 'shy and stuff'?"

Lu Han actually winked. "It also depends on how cute you are."

Was that legitimate flirting? Sehun tried not let that bring his hopes up too much. This guy was still a stranger. A really pretty stranger with a laugh bordering on comical, but still a stranger. Be cool, Sehun, be cool.

"How old are you, anyway? I was kinda afraid I was watching a fourteen-year-old's stream the first time I saw your show."

Lu Han looked mildly affronted. "For your information, I'm twenty-three." At Sehun's eyes bulging out, he guffawed. There was that large, mouthy laugh again. "It's okay, I get that a lot. The closest people have come to guessing my real age so far is twenty years old."

"I wouldn't even guess eighteen. Hearing you're at least legal is a relief, at least."

"Hey!" Lu Han squawked, but he was still laughing. "How old are _you_ , then?"

"Nineteen."

"Ha. I was guessing twenty-one. You have that old baby face, you know what I mean?"

Sehun sputtered. "Old baby?"

Lu Han blinked innocently, pointing to the screen at Sehun's forehead. "You have this thing where your forehead wrinkles when you're thinking of something to say. Your skin just kind of-" He put his index and middle fingers on his own forehead and squished it together, creating little ridges of skin in between.

"We've barely talked for ten minutes and you're already insulting me?" He knew his skin stretched over his bones and face like paper, a byproduct of being rail thin since reaching puberty. He had a fair amount of muscle on him since he ate a lot of meat and danced his ass off, but it never did anything for his cheeks, making him look a little older than he really was. Lu Han was apparently the reverse.

"It's not insulting, I swear! It's cute!" Lu Han insisted, pouting.

"Oh, so now you're saying I'm cute?"

Lu Han's pout grew deeper. "I just said you were cute a minute ago! Jeez, quit giving me a hard time here!"

So it _was_ legitimate flirting. Aw, yeah.

"Hey, you still haven't told me what you want me to do."

"Oh... yeah. I forgot about that." Talking freely with Lu Han had rid his mind of all thoughts of making Lu Han perform a Rania song in Shingeki no Kyojin cosplay. "This is nice. I don't mind just chatting."

Lu Han grinned. "I was thinking the same."

 

 

Fast forward to two months later, and before Sehun knew it, he and Lu Han had developed an easy friendship. Sometimes he still watched Lu Han's shows, but he didn't need to tip 500,000 anymore to talk to Lu Han - Lu Han would hit him up all on his own after shows, Sehun's skype pinging with lines of messages if he was ever offline.

manlunited_420: sehun-ah, are you there?  
manlunited_420: i got some eggplant in the mail today. EGGPLANT >_<

manlunited_420: when i've been telling people NO VEGETABLES. EVER.

manlunited_420: u think i should send them to kyungsoo?

manlunited_420: where r u when i need someone to whine to. SOME FRIEND

Lu Han was a little freewheeling with his replies, but for the most part they talked about each other's day jobs and other trivial things to pass time. They'd send each other links to corny videos and movie trailers. Lu Han for some reason liked to send him longcat videos. "Longcat is actually you in cat form," he'd said, ignoring Sehun's loud protests. "It's the torso. You think you can try farting rainbows, too?"

"WELL YOU LOOK LIKE CHORONG FROM A-PINK," Sehun would half-scream, half-flail indignantly.

"Weak," Lu Han said, sticking his tongue out. "Work on your burns, son. That one has no basis in reality. I, for one, am manly."

Sehun snorted. "If you say it enough, it'll come true one day."

Lu Han glowered, trying to look more intimidating than his face would allow. "Yah! It's not my fault I was born extremely cute, okay. Just for that, when we meet face to face, I'm gonna beat you up. Mark my words, Oh Sehun!"

Sehun humored him. Lu Han needed to feel that he was still a functioning boy with cock and balls every now and then, considering what he did on-cam. He'd usually say, "Sure, hyung. Go easy on a lil twig like me."

But that was a bit different. "Meeting in person?" He tried to mask his enthusiasm for the idea, to no avail. "When? Midterm season is coming up, though. Maybe after that?"

Lu Han had seemed to realize what he'd said, visibly hesitating. "... Yeah."

He still avoided answering questions that bordered on too personal, like why exactly he left Beijing for Seoul, and if how many relationships he'd been in that didn't involve him cosplaying for the other person's entertainment. 

He did eventually answer Sehun's question about CuttinUrVeggies. Yes, he was a real guy, a university student like them. No, he's not a sex robot from Planet Testes. Yes, Lu Han knew him personally; he actually lived next door. No, he didn't exclusively have sex with vegetables.

"Kyungsoo introduced me to the business, so to speak. It just sort of... happened. We took the bus to school at the same time everyday, so were were bound to talk."

How 'talking' led to 'introduction to the world of amateur camboys', Sehun wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Lu Han had four private sessions since the time they've started chatting, two girls and two guys. Only one guy turned out to be a dick (he'd asked Lu Han to hump a body pillow doggie-style, which was relatively tamer than what most dudes requested). Because of this, Lu Han had to change IDs again. Sehun didn't mind that. What he did mind was Lu Han still doing his kissy-face routine, parading his natural cuteness around for the entire internet to feast on.

So he actually minded the entire G-rated camboy business. Lu Han was just doing his thing, he knew, but it still felt like he was sharing Lu Han with 5,000-odd anonymous faces. The rational part of him reasoned that no one was intimate with Lu Han the way he was - although it wasn't _that_ kind of intimate. Not yet, anyway.

Yeah, he liked the casual, no-fuss nature of their friendship. They talked about school (Lu Han was a junior; got delayed a year after leaving Beijing to study in Seoul), the latest Marvel movies (Lu Han loved Iron Man and was extremely disappointed there was no Iron Man cameo in the latest Captain America), and video games (Lu Han was an avid fan of Pokemon HeartGold and took all opportunities to insert terrible Pokemon puns into the conversation; Sehun still wasn't over the awfulness that was "I turn on my Charmander pants come right off").

But was it wrong to want something more once in a while?

 

 

Sehun had had precisely one boyfriend in his entire nineteen years on earth.

He initially thought himself attracted to Jongin for one scary phase in his prepubescent years. Before Taemin, no one understood how deep Jongin's interest was in anime and manga. Coolness might be self-evident to some kids, but to Sehun there was no single variable to look for - dorky-looking kids who were apparently popular, and handsome boys who were pointed out as losers. Jongin was the latter and Sehun didn't mind. Sehun was one of the few who got his weird quirks and found his strange high-pitched laugh cute. Jongin was the first truly good-looking yet approachable guy Sehun got in close proximity with, but it didn't take long to realize it was just his thirteen-year-old hormones going into hyperdrive.

Then, in his senior year in highschool, there was Huang Zitao. At first he deemed Zitao a part of a subgroup called People Who Are Light-Years from Ever Touching a Boob, a light-year guy for short. Sehun himself had made out with and touched girls' nether regions, before deciding he much liked the feel of dick and balls more. Even awkward dude Jongin managed to snag girls at some point in his life, though his stripper moves on the dancefloor and good looks probably helped.

That was, of course, before he found out Zitao was gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John in a Bath House with Liberace for accompaniment. He was out, proud and loving it. That was the thing he liked most about Zitao - his confidence and comfort in his own skin. People talked shit to his face because of his outrageous fashion choices that showcased just how homosexual he truly was, but Zitao didn't give a rat's ass.

They became study buddies because of a month-long pair project, so the transition to a full-fledged relationship wasn't difficult.

Zitao had scoffed when he told him, after a particularly long blowjob, that he first deemed Zitao a light-year. "I wouldn't touch it even if you gave me another Masserati."

"Dude, you totally breastfed, though. So you did touch a boob at least once in your lifetime."

"... I'll give you that." Zitao grimaced. "Now I'm thinking about my mom's boobs. I hate you."

"That's all you. Also, I've seen your mom and she's pretty fit for her age-"

"NO. STOP RIGHT THERE. Ugh, now I have this mental image of - of - that! Get it out!"

"Ummm, think of Miranda Kerr's boobs?"

"Isn't she like, 30?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't wanna think of saggy tits."

Sehun burst out laughing. "Seriously, how fucking clueless are you about boobs? Tits don't sag that early. Otherwise no woman would wanna get married past twenty-nine."

"Why the fuck are we talking about tits anyway? For a couple of guys who just blew load all over each other, we're like, super straight right now."

They were probably also high together. A lot. Sehun was hazy on the details.

They both liked the company of other people, but whereas Sehun was content to spend weekends at home, Tao always had to flit around from one hangout to the next, ever restless and thrill-seeking. He loved being the center of attention and would never hesitate to leave Sehun to fend for himself at parties where they both didn't know anyone.

They'd fooled around, used their hands on each other, rubbed off against each other, but Sehun didn't put any deep significance to it. Judging by their nonchalant break-up, Zitao didn't either.

"This was fun," Sehun had said carefully. "But I think we shouldn't date anymore."

Tao nodded, looking away for a moment. Sehun thought he would cry. Instead, he held out his hand. "Wanna get break-up bubble tea?"

"You - how could be so lackadaisical about this?" Sehun asked out of genuine curiosity. He was so relieved Zitao hadn't thrown a tantrum that he couldn't muster up the indignant rage people usually reserved for apathetic lovers.

Zitao shrugged. "Sometimes people work better as friends. I like you a lot, Sehun-ah. Same vibes, same crowd, you know. But I guess we both need... a challenge?"

"I'm not enough of a challenge for you." Sehun didn't know whether to be insulted. Things sometimes got lost in translation with Zitao.

"It's not a bad thing," Zitao assured. "With us, everything was so easy, right? We made out three days after we met."

That he did. He also gave Sehun a handjob in the janitor's closet a few hours after that. Sehun cleared his throat. "I think I get what you mean. Now that I think about it, bubble tea sounds awesome right now. By the way, is your mom open to extra-marital affairs?"

They were still friends; when they met he'd never miss the opportunity to bring up the running joke of one day boning Zitao's mom. These meet-ups were often day-long affairs, with a flavor of the month on Zitao's arm, to all appearances out of the sincere desire to just let loose and have fun.

With Lu Han now, it wasn't as if the helpless adoration Sehun felt was obviously unrequited, enough that Sehun felt it unwise to explore other intimacies. Already Sehun had told Lu Han more about his inner life than he'd told anyone else - even Jongin, even Chanyeol, even Zitao. There was no one he'd rather spend his late nights with. Not even free samgyupsal, soju and noraebang at the ass-crack of dawn with his friends would get him to leave. If his friends wanted to see him, they had to see him in the afternoon, because his nights would be occupied.

Worse, it physically _hurt_ to watch Lu Han's shows because he knew he wasn't the only one watching.

In the next few days, Sehun conducted little experiments gauging his chances with Lu Han, without trespassing any obvious boundaries and freaking Lu Han out.

He decided to appear in front of his laptop one day dressed in a low-cut tank, hair wet and dripping.

"Sehun-ah, what's taking you so..." Lu Han paused, lifting his eyebrows in a swift, jerky motion as he opened his eyes wide to gaze at him. Then he dropped his eyelids, tilted his head down and to the side, and looked away. "Took a shower, huh. So that's why you were gone longer than 5 minutes. You said you were just gonna brush your teeth..." He giggled nervously, then bit his lip.

Another time, Sehun joked that he wanted to be a camboy himself. Hey, he had to earn back that money he spent on Lu Han somehow.

mayor_oh: hey  
mayor_oh: i'm practicing my own special move  
mayor_oh: kekekehahahohoahueeuhuoaohoooh  
manlunited_420: does it involve looking like an easter island statue...? haha

Sehun tried not look put out, blowing his cheeks out.

manlunited_420: pufferfish face???  
mayor_oh: lol  
mayor_oh: no  
mayor_oh: hang on

He turned away, then whipped his head towards the screen, fixing Lu Han with an intense stare that lasted for about five seconds.

Lu Han looked away first. Then he pulled a pillow out from nowhere and buried his face in it while typing with one hand.

manlunited_420: um?!?  
manlunited_420: wtf was that...  
mayor_oh: i call it the smouldering stare kekekeke  
mayor_oh: how much do u think i should charge for it??????  
manlunited_420: ₩0.00 it's gross

Lu Han looked to the side and back to him in the span of 0.01 seconds. It was like he didn't know where to look exactly. The flush on his neck slowly crept up to his cheeks.

Sehun knew basic flirting involved eye contact - it triggered a primitive part of the brain, calling forth two actions: approach or retreat. You cannot ignore the eyes of another fixed on you; you must respond. You may smile nervously and talk it off. You may look away and edge towards the corner. But first, you will perform some other meaningless movement to alleviate anxiety while you make up your mind how to acknowledge this invitation.

Which was exactly what Lu Han was doing.

Sehun moved onto the final stage of his little makeshift experiment - he wanted to seriously ask Lu Han about meeting in person. For some reason, they avoided talking about this, even though he knew Lu Han was also based in Seoul.

He was still thinking _how_ to go about the asking - direct or roundabout and just wait for Lu Han to catch on at some point - when Lu Han leaned close to the screen, eyes narrow but concerned.

"Are you okay? You seem pretty spaced out there," Lu Han said, waving a hand.

A flash of daring made Sehun lean forward. "Are we ever gonna meet?"

Lu Han could have acted surprised, but he said nothing for a while. He did nothing. Then Lu Han's eyes met with his with almost unnerving directness. "Why should we? Isn't this-" Lu Han gestured vaguely around his general space. "-Okay enough?"

Sehun's throat suddenly felt dry, and he had to swallow before he could speak. "It - it is. But it also isn't?" He buried his face in his hands, embarrassment pooling at the pit of his gut. "I don't really know how to explain myself. But we've been talking for a while now and I think there's something here... between us. Maybe I'm getting weird signals or I'm just reading too much into things. But I... I really like you, Lu Han."

"I..." Lu Han started. His voice broke off. He looked so uncertain and Sehun knew this was the end. It ended before it even started.

"If you don't wanna talk to me anymore, I get it," Sehun said, unable to keep the dejectedness out. Rejection clutched as his guts like a white-hot fist. It was as though he could feel every blood vessel in his body as they burned from shame. "I'd understand. I mean, this must be awkward, right? I bet you get confessions like this everyday from those creeps on your chatbox. But-" _I'm not like them because I'm your friend first before I'm anything else._ "-But these past few months with you was really... great. I'll miss you-"

"Stop. Stop talking like one of us is gonna die or go away forever." Lu Han shook his head. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he breathed in deep. "Yes, I get confessions like this all the time. But never to my face from someone who actually respects me and isn't out to get some sort of sexual favor out of me. What I'm saying is... Sehun. I really like you, too."

"Y-you do?" Sehun had never simultaneously more dumb yet relieved at the same time, all the adrenaline and nervousness rushing out of his body in waves.

"Yeah."

It occurred to him that Lu Han might have been testing him. He sounded so skeptical when he'd asked to meet. "So... do you wanna... maybe go out? Sometime?"

He expected that to be met with a little more resistance than a quiet "Okay."

"... Are you sure you're okay meeting me?" Off-frame, Sehun's fingers fisted the hem of his shirt nervously. "We've already established mutual... something. But I don't wanna force you into doing anything you don't want to."

"I said I liked you, didn't I? I meant that." Lu Han squared his shoulders, looking a tad uneasy. "It's just - I've never done this before."

Sehun blinked. "Go on a date?"

"Meet in person anyone I know online, period." Lu Han rolled his eyes. "I've been on dates, thank you very much. They didn't always go well, but dates are dates."

Sehun jotted in his mental notepad: ask about Lu Han's ex-dates. "Don't worry. I don't chop up my victims' bodies after the first eyeball. Gotta do a bit of inspection first y'know, see if the flesh is succulent and tender."

That got a laugh out of Lu Han. The subject abruptly switched to the latest episode of Hannibal and Sehun pretended just for another two hours that he was calm and unruffled and didn't feel that distinct fluttering feeling in his gut.

 

 

"You're early," Lu Han said, leaning over the table at Coffee Bean to put his messenger bag down the chair across Sehun. "I had to get panic-dressed and forgot to blowdry my hair. So I basically feel better than I look right now."

"You still look great," Sehun assured him smoothly. He himself was surprised he managed not to gape like a blubbering fish upon seeing Lu Han enter the cafe dressed in a too-large blue shirt, a floral-print jacket that looked like he swiped it off the ladies large section at the nearby Zara, and a dark red beanie. He easily stood out from everyone else even in casual clothes. "I got off work early so I decided to just start on my homework here."

Lu Han nodded, the beginnings of a smile on his lips. "You don't look too bad yourself. I'll be right back." With that Lu Han went to the counter to put in his own order.

Truthfully, Sehun had woken up at an ungodly hour, took a leave from his Saturday research assistant job and spent almost two hours choosing what to wear and how to do his hair. Chanyeol had thrown a pillow in his face grumbling about the sound of early morning blowdrying but that was typical Chanyeol; he was like a bat on the weekends, sleeping in until late afternoon and coming out at night. As for Jongin, well, he slept like the dead so he never complained.

Sehun had come an hour earlier than the agreed meeting time and gotten his drink to think about what he was gonna say and how to get around any awkwardness should it arise.

 _Cool as an ice cube,_ he reminded himself. _You're a man. A mature fucking man. Awkward moments are for losers._

But when Lu Han sat beside him - not across - Sehun felt his permafrost resolve melt faster than butter in a frying pan.

Their conversation was shallow at first - asking about each others' respective weeks; complaints about school and Sehun's roommates (well, roommate - Jongin was a sweetheart when he was sleeping in their apartment, which was like 90% of the time) and yet more of Lu Han's subscribers' antics. He still hadn't figured out what to do with all the Chupa Chups. Sehun suggested donating some to him (everyone likes free lollipops), but Lu Han finally decided to give them to the local orphanage.

"Honestly, I was a little hesitant to come," Lu Han said between sips. Sehun thought his coffee would be a pale brown, but when he peeked he was surprised to find it black. "I actually woke up in this no-man's land between 'excited' and 'vomit-ready', like that feeling you get when you ride an elevator up to the 60th floor."

"You still think I'm gonna cut you up into little pieces, don't you?" Sehun joked, straight-faced

Lu Han cracked up. "It's not the way I plan to go, but at least-" He shrugged as if nonchalant. "I'd have the dubious honor of being murdered and cannibalized by a good-looking guy."

"I'm no Ted Bundy, but thanks," Sehun said. This good natured (if gory) teasing was okay for his nerves. "Seriously though. Why were you so - you know." Somehow if he verbalized 'scared' he didn't think it was okay. "You've seen how I am. I don't know how anything I did correlates to 'murderous psychopath.'" Sometimes he couldn't even form coherent sentences around Lu Han.

"I told you I've never met anyone online who I've also met in the flesh," Lu Han said slowly, after a long pause. Sehun could immediately the conversation was about to take a turn for the serious. "That's not exactly accurate. I did meet someone online. He was one of my first subscribers when I started out, and the first one to pay for my personal skype id. I was so happy because I never believed anyone would actually pay the amount." He chuckled. "The 500,000 credits thing started out as a joke but he actually freakin' paid it. After our first chat, he asked if he could meet me. I agreed. It was great for the ego, to have that kind of money and know that someone wanted you. But as you can probably guess, it didn't end too well."

"What did he try to do?" Sehun said a little more fiercely than intended.

Lu Han barked out a short laugh. "Nothing like that. Unless you count conning into multiple dates and sex every weekend as harassment."

"So you ended up dating?"

"Yeah. For a year. I stopped being a camboy for a while. Which also meant less income, but it was a risk I was dumb enough at the time to take." Lu Han laughed again, but there was a bitter edge to it. "Then I found out he had a fiance."

Sehun's eyes went wide. "Oh, shit - that's- what an asshole."

" I'd been kicked out of my house for being gay. I didn't want _that_ to go to waste so I wanted to live as openly as possible. He wanted to continue the relationship. But I didn't care much for being someone's dirty little secret."

Sehun was struck speechless. "Hyung..."

"He fucked me over pretty good, huh. " Lu Han closed his eyes and sighed. "So you know why I'm extra cautious. Apart from the common sense thing."

Sehun reached across the table to Lu Han as he spoke, tentatively put his hand on Lu Han's forearm. When the other didn't pull away, he took it as a good sign. "Hyung... why do you still do this?"

"'Cause it's easy?"

"I'm serious. I mean, how can you even trust anyone from that site after that?"

"Like how I trusted you?"

Sehun felt his face heat up. "Well-"

Lu Han looked up and held his gaze. "I'm serious, too. I do this because it's an easy way to earn. Yeah, that one guy was a bummer but I just learned to be more careful. With this gig, I get to have time for my studies and it's not real _work_ for me, y'know?"

"I'm sure being cute takes hard work." He raised a curled fist up to his cheek. "Buing buing?"

Lu Han groaned. "Terrible. You're not cut out to be a G-rated camboy, I can tell you that."

"Can I be a porn site camboy, then?" Sehun tried not to look too pleased at Lu Han's sputtering.

"You - _no._ " Lu Han cleared his throat and sat up straight. Sehun snickered. "Anyway, I realized - very quickly - that this was preferable to getting a part-time job where the hours are unstable and the pay's barely minimum wage."

"Okay." Sehun got that. It was a relief to know Lu Han didn't feel any deep trauma. You had to do what you had to do to survive; Seoul was expensive, after all.

"Since then, I've created this sort of... code. There's nothing super deep about it. It's just common sense. It's crude but the camboy business is exactly that - a business. G-rated or flat-out porn, camboys like me are in the business of selling ourselves, our faces, our bodies, our talents, for money. I get money from people. I got money from you. How many weeks did it take you to save up those credits?"

Sehun shook his head. "I don't remember. It's been so long." He saved up for two months and had three part-time jobs, but he wasn't gonna tell Lu Han.

Lu Han waved it off, looking thoughtful after. "Long story short, the code is you don't shit where you eat."

Sehun nodded in understanding. He knew the stigma about dating online, ranging from the belief that it was a refuge for the desperate and unsavory to the milder notion that it was a bazaar for the sort of people who got off on selling themselves, no warranties included. He grappled with these questions himself more than once - did he really like Lu Han? Or was he just desperately lonely and looking for a warm body to sink his dick into, and Lu Han just happened to be so pretty and so receptive?

He got his answer the first time Lu Han all-out guffawed in front of him, jaw hanging open and spit flying towards the screen. From an objective point of view it was - should be - unattractive. Total turn-off.

Instead, he found it cute, endearing and personally damning.

"Somehow, you were-" _Different from the rest_ hung in the air. Lu Han tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, appearing oddly shy. "-Enough of a persistent brat since you managed to convince me to come out here with my hair not even blowdried."

Sehun smiled. "Hey, if it works." He leaned in closer, growing more quiet. "You said you were kicked out for being gay?"

"Yeah." Lu Han took another sip then looked down at his lap. "I tried to change. I had a highschool girlfriend back in Beijing. We were together for about six months then I broke it off because that was the time I realized I connected more with guys... sexually." Lu Han coughed, a blush rising to his cheeks. "I have no problem emotionally connecting with girls, but the situation became unfair for her because I couldn't touch her the way she wanted - yeah. She's married now."

"Oh," Sehun said, failing to hide his surprise. Somehow the knowledge that Lu Han had experience with vaginas was not a minus point. Just made him a bit more worldly.

"Can you imagine how bad it would be for me to actually get a girlfriend, though?" Lu Han shuddered. "She'd probably steal all my bb cream for herself."

"Sounds like a nightmare. For one, you'd be prettier."

"... I'd smack you in the face if you didn't have a fair point." That was more than a joke, and they both knew it; Lu Han had just shared some hard truths about himself, opened his life to Sehun's curiosity. The conversation was already too heavy as it stood.

Sehun patted Lu Han's back consolingly. "It's easier if you just accept your androgynous face, hyung - ow!"

"Not unless you accept your flat face first!"

Sehun huffed indignantly. His face must be doing that involuntary frowny face that Lu Han said looked like an emoticon. "I so have a jaw! See!" He pointed to said jawline and mentally implored Lu Han to take notice.

Lu Han poked at the juncture between neck and jaw. "You're all neck, pancake face."

"Hyung!"

 

 

They go out on pseudo-dates once a week for a month. Lu Han picking Sehun up from one of his part-time jobs; Sehun surprising Lu Han with movie tickets to the latest Spiderman movie; seeing a football match together even though Sehun didn't understand half the time what was going on - he just liked to watch Lu Han wrinkle his eyes up in a way that made him look twice his age and laugh that godawful, ugly-cute laugh, cheering and jumping like a little kid everytime his team scored a goal.

Tonight they meandered through the wide streets of Seocho-Gu, which was less clamorous than usual, talking easily about the niceties they saw along the way. Autumn leaf decorations clung to shop windows, and weary office yuppies ambled along the sidewalk. Sehun wanted to treat Lu Han to a French patisserie and cafe at Seorae Village, but for some reason wi-fi signal was n low in the area and google maps didn't access fast enough.

"So much for being wi-fi nation," Sehun grumbled.

Lu Han tugged him over, clasping his arm tightly for a minute in a gesture of apparent comfort. "It's okay, we'll just wander around the area. It'll be like a mini-adventure."

And wander they did. Lu Han's iron stomach couldn't last for long, though.

"Sehun-ah, we should look for somewhere to eat now," Lu Han said as they waited for the walk signal at the corner.

"That place looks okay," Sehun said absentmindedly, pointing at nowhere in particular. Out of the periphery of his vision, he saw neon lights. He didn't think much of it, until Lu Han gave him a _look_.

Sehun thought the cold air would snap him back into focus. But there were too many times he nearly walked into other pedestrians because he would be staring at Lu Han's face, slightly pink from the chilly air. His arm brushed against Lu Han's far too much for it to be accidental- on his part or on Lu Han's.

They crossed the street as Lu Han gave him a sidelong glance. "There's good food at the Chezlee Palace?" Before Sehun could stutter out a response, Lu Han had already begun walking in the direction of said Chezlee Palace. "I'm in the mood for American food. Something like eggs and sausage."

Sehun stared up at the elaborately colored neon sign, painted furniture and brocaded drapes beyond the glass doors. It was complete disregard for moderation; Sehun spent a few seconds in horrified silence in memoriam for all the violated eyes throughout Seocho-gu. An LED board flashed _NEW THEMED BEDROOMS: MERMAID PRINCESS, STAR WARS, HELLO KITTY!!! ₩30,000/4HRS BOOK NOW! _"Hyung, I'm sure those three colors were never meant to exist, never mind be put together-"__

__Lu Han grabbed his wrist, his laughter tapering off as they reached the entrance. He looked Sehun in the eye, and said, very seriously, "I'm hungry."_ _

__Lu Han was smiling long enough to make Sehun think he was either joking or angling for an invitation. This was Sehun's cue to say something clever, anything besides _Okay.__ _

__He said, "Okay."_ _

__"We'd like a room, please." Lu Han said sweetly to a dispassionate-looking receptionist, the type who looked pained because she couldn't prop her heeled feet up the newly waxed wooden counter. Sehun stood behind Lu Han and tried not to hyperventilate._ _

__"Are you availing the short-time rates or staying the night?"_ _

__Sehun finally opened his mouth. "We're not-"_ _

__"Oh, sweetheart. Don't be shy, she sees this all the time," Lu Han interrupted smoothly, putting his arm around Sehun's waist and resting his head on his shoulder. Sehun's back stiffened at the unexpected endearment. "How much for one night's stay?"_ _

__"60,000. That covers 12 hours."_ _

__"We'll take it!"_ _

__A thousand internal dialogues sprung to mind, and yet Sehun couldn't muster any other action other than to gape at Lu Han. This caught him off-guard in a way he'd never experienced from Lu Han before. "Wha- Hyung! What happened to dinner?"_ _

__Lu Han's gaze was dark as he grinned, an expression so fierce it made Sehun reel. "Oh, it's still on."_ _

__

__

__Sehun talked over the sound of their footsteps over soft carpet, over Lu Han swiping the card key and the door to their room opening. "Hyung, I might be reading wrong here, but are you saying you want to-mmph!"_ _

__Lu Han dragged Sehun forward by the shirt, Sehun's back hitting the wall beside the door with a soft thud. Sehun's mouth was abruptly silenced by Lu Han's mouth and wait, what? _What?__ _

__Sehun sucked a sharp breath through his nose as Lu Han's free hand brushed over his cheek, and then he twisted into the kiss. He barely registered Lu Han's leg shooting out to kick the door closed, his focus narrowing to Lu Han's pink mouth, accompanied by a strange sense of detachment from everything that wasn't tied to this, to Lu Han's thumb on his jaw, Lu Han's breath warm against his lips._ _

__When they pulled away, Lu Han's eyes had a strange shine to them. Maybe it was the dim bedroom light, reminiscent of amateur voyeur videos, but Sehun wasn't sure._ _

__"Hyung. Lu Han-hyung," Sehun said quietly. He exhaled, counting to three before he inhaled again, and added, "Do you know what you're doing?"_ _

__"No. Totally clueless." Lu Han's knee prodded between Sehun's, until they were thigh to thigh. Lu Han's lips were slightly parted as he traced their way down Sehun's chest, along his sides, across his back. Sehun was still fully clothed but he was sure that his jeans were obscenely tenting. "I told you I was gonna have dinner, didn't I?"_ _

__It was terrifying to be betrayed by his own body this way - to feel a dizzying rush of arousal at the Lu Han playing coy, and touching him, and teasing him. He willed his body to relax as he stood there, opening his legs, allowing Lu Han to fondle whatever part of him he wanted._ _

__Lu Han closed a hand around Sehun's clothed cock, already half-hard. Sehun groaned._ _

__"Is that good?" Lu Han murmured, grazing the rough material like it was nothing but flimsy cloth. He unzipped Sehun's fly and palmed Sehun's cock through his old red boxers; fuck, he knew he should've worn classy-looking black briefs today. Sehun braced one arm against the wall so he could remain upright. "We haven't even gotten to the real fun yet."_ _

__Lu Han moved to kiss him again, and this time, Sehun met him halfway. There was no thinking, no taunting, just their mouths and the taste of each other, the frantic tugging of each other's clothes._ _

__Sehun decided to be a bit braver; he slowly slid his hands back down Lu Han's back to cup his ass._ _

__"So cute. Even your groping is cute," Lu Han muttered against his mouth as he began forming a loose fist around Sehun's clothed cock._ _

__Sehun moaned, half from exasperation, the other from being fully hard now. "Hyung, please. Not now."_ _

__"Alright. Let's take this to the bed." Lu Han pecked him swiftly, then yanked him by the wrist ('tugging Sehun along everywhere' was Lu Han's favorite thing to do, it seemed) towards the bed. He'd pushed Sehun onto the hot pink coverlet. For the first time, Sehun noticed that they were in some sort of... pink Rilakkuma room._ _

__"Pinku pinku," he said, just as Lu Han took off his pants and began to climb on top of him._ _

__"What?" Lu Han looked at him strangely._ _

__"Uh. This room." He gestured to the space around. Lu Han sat up, straddling Sehuns thighs, and followed his hand. "I have a Rilakkuma just like... that. And that." He pointed to the pink Rilakkuma head staring at them from the ceiling. To the furry carpet shaped like Rilakkuma. To the pillows with pink Rilakkuma covers._ _

__"Oh." Lu Han's eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you were describing your nipples. Or dicks. Which is weird because dicks aren't really pink. Unless you've been watching hentai."_ _

__For the first time since this spontaneous rendezvous, Sehun flushed. "Err, no. And my nipples aren't pink." He pointedly stared at Lu Han's chest - small in frame but lean and defined. "Yours aren't either."_ _

__Lu Han scoffed. "Never understood all the fuss about pink nipples, anyway. I had one subscriber ask me one time to show him my pink nipples. He signed out after I told him they were brown. Oh, well. Sucks to be so discriminating."_ _

__Sehun thought they were talking too much about nipples that didn't exist in their little space, so he remedied the situation by wrapping his leg around Lu Han's and flipping Lu Han over, taking his briefs off. Lu Han made a surprised noise in the back of his throat as the hard line of Sehun's cock pressed alongside his. Sehun pressed Lu Han down into the Rilakuma sheets, their mouths slotting gracelessly. Teeth clacked, and Lu Han laughed, his exhale becoming Sehun's inhale when Sehun hauled in a breath._ _

__He reached down with one hand and cupped Lu Han's balls firmly, thoroughly enjoying Lu Han bucking frantically and cursing. Lu Han's hands then found purchase on Sehun's ass. As Sehun lay trails of peppered kisses down the side of Lu Han's face, his neck, Lu Han's grip tightened on his cheeks, blunt nails digging in._ _

__Sehun suppressed the long moan threatening to overtake him, and got down to business. He pressed kisses down Lu Han's chest, thumbs catching Lu Han's (very brown and very cute) nipples just to make him squeak. He kissed down his flat stomach; Lu Han watched him with half-lidded eyes, lips puffy from biting kisses. Sehun buried his nose in Lu Han's pubes, smelling musk and soap, then put his lips on Lu Han's balls, sucking soft, then hard, responding to every grunt, every groan. All the while he avoided sucking Lu Han's cock, although the proximity bobbed up to lightly brush over his lips and poke at his cheek every now and then._ _

__"S-Sehun-ah, you fucking tease, you little- ah!" Sehun licked up the slit of Lu Han's cock - finally! - and it had Lu Han swearing in colorful unmentionables, making gasping noises that sent new waves of arousal down his dick._ _

__Lu Han thrust his hips and Sehun's mouth opened, finally swallowing Lu Han's cock. He wasn't very good at deep-throating, so he did what he did best with his ex-boyfriend - humming around Lu Han's dick, pulling up with a swirl of tongue and a twist of head, then plunging back down to do it all over again. Lu Han certainly wasn't complaining, the way his hands raked through Sehun's hair, practically losing his mind._ _

__Their eyes met. Lu Han breathed, a hot exhale of words, "Sehun-ah, wait. I - I don't wanna come yet. Let me suck you off, too."_ _

__Lu Han flipped them over again before Sehun could even wonder _how_ he did without passing out from being so fucking hard. "I wanna be on top for this one," he murmured, leaning down and ghosting his nose and cheeks over Sehun's balls for a change. Sehun groaned quietly, his hands busying themselves with getting a handful of Lu Han's generously shaped thighs. _ _

__"Moaning already and I haven't even touched you yet properly yet." Sehun pinched Lu Han, knowing Lu Han was teasing him again. Just when he thought giving Lu Han the upper hand was a great idea. "Ahh - that was a good hurt. Don't mind if you do it again," Lu Han panted, sliding his lower half back so his cock was dangling above Sehun's mouth._ _

__"My turn to taste you now. Let's see who can make the other come faster."_ _

__"This wasn't a competition - oh ohhh shit-"_ _

__Lu Han took Sehun's cock to the hilt, letting the tip hit the back of his throat. Unlike Sehun's technique, Lu Han's was less careful and more raw and dirty and primal, like he wanted to devour him from head to toe. He suckled on the sides of him, using his tongue against the vein on the underside of Sehun's cock. Sehun imagined this technique, if known, would make the gay population in Seoul lose their abilities to function. He certainly didn't feel like doing anything else but focus on the feeling of wicked red lips wrapped around his cock, deep-throating like a pro-_ _

__"Concentrate," Lu Han said suddenly, nipping at Sehun's inner thigh. Sehun yelped; Lu Han had a sharp bite._ _

__Sehun dutifully sucked Lu Han back down and slurped at his length. His hands even got extra friendly with Lu Han's backside, groping and caressing the tender flesh. Lu Han shuddered above him, losing his own momentum on Sehun's cock for a moment as he tried to hide the occasional whimper and squeal. Lu Han was almost mewling when Sehun dragged his tongue from the base of his cock to the tip then sucked him down again._ _

__Then Lu Han did a _thing_ with his tongue while Sehun's cock hit the back of his throat - Sehun felt heat spiraling up to his solar plexus, his heart, his throat as he cried out and came._ _

__"What the fuck. I was gonna win." Sehun was boneless and insensate with pleasure as he feebly used his hand to jerk Lu Han off, too tired to use his mouth. Lu Han had stopped sucking him off now, and after a few pumps of his fingers, he gasped as he spurted wet and hot against the skin of Sehun's throat._ _

__Lu Han tiredly lifted his leg from Sehun's side and plopped down next to him. Sehun had come more on Lu Han's lips than between them, semen dripping from Lu Han's mouth and chin. Sehun managed to whisper, "You okay, hyung?"_ _

__Lu Han grinned, not even wiping his mouth. He even licked the corner of his lips, like he was suckling up all of Sehun's come he could reach. It was the hottest thing Sehun had seen. "Yeah. Plus, I won."_ _

__"But. Was it _okay_?" Sehun leaned close, kissed Lu Han's cheek. _ _

__Lu Han started to laugh as some of his own come dripped from Sehun's shoulder to his. "Also a yes."_ _

__They fell asleep like that, Sehun's head on Lu Han's shoulder, bodies slick and wet with each other's come and sweat._ _

__Sehun woke up first. When he looked at the time, it was 2am. Somewhere along the way they'd sort of changed position, Lu Han now drooling on Sehun's chest._ _

__"Hnnrgh. Go back to sleep," Lu Han murmured when Sehun gently tugged the cover over him. Apparently the rustle was enough to stir him to partial wakefulness._ _

__"Sorry I fell asleep so quickly," Sehun said._ _

__"What?" Lu Han said groggily. "But we just fucked. Of course you were gonna pass out. Duh."_ _

__Sehun blinked. Then it made sense. "Right. Cuddle time is for heteros?"_ _

__"Mm. Why? Wanna have another go?"_ _

__"Well... you said we fucked. But we kind of... didn't?"_ _

__"Did you miss the part with the touching and the orgasms?" Lu Han sat up, rubbing at his eyes. Then it was as if a light dawned on him. "Oh. Did you want to have anal?"_ _

__Sehun considered himself a virgin because all he ever did with Zitao were handjobs and blowjobs. Apparently not. "We don't have lube and condoms, though. And I sorta don't know how."_ _

__Lu Han giggled quietly. "No need to rush. Anal isn't the be-all, end-all of gay guy sex. Plus a lot of it's overrated. Not to mention, we'll both need to be thoroughly clean from the inside, if you get my drift."_ _

__"You've tried it," Sehun said, a statement and not a question. "And you didn't like it?"_ _

__"Tried it with my ex-boyfriend, yes. But it's not something we did every time we went to bed. It's not that I don't like it... I like both pitching and catching, but there are certain... drawbacks."_ _

__"Drawbacks?" So gay porn had lied to Sehun. Bottoms tossing their heads and howling like wanton lunatics when their partners' 12-inch monster dicks entered them raw were too good to be true, after all._ _

__"Yeah. Taking cock for the first time is terrifying, for one. You have to relax and trust your partner, completely and totally. If you're not totally lubed it's going to hurt. Even if you're lubed it'll still hurt." Lu Han shrugged. "Like I said, overrated. Besides, there are other things we can do. We'll cross that bridge when we get there._ _

__The prospect of continuation was daunting but hopeful all the same._ _

__Sehun nodded, held Lu Han close and turned on the television. They had plenty more hours until check-out, anyway. Besides, Lu Han hadn't even had his actual dinner yet. Sehun himself felt the beginnings of severe hunger pangs. They ordered room service and surprise, surprise - they had ravioli._ _

__After eating, Sehun felt compelled to come clean, if they were going to move forward with this thing between them._ _

__"Honestly, I started watching you because I was sorta lonely. And pretty much living off on dates with rosie palms," Sehun confessed sheepishly. Lu Han listened silently, studying Sehun's face intently as he spoke. The glowing lights beyond the window seemed faraway; Sehun was keenly aware of Lu Han's breath, Lu Han's attention. "At first, I wasn't all that different from those opportunistic perverts you hated so much. But I wasn't shameless enough to ask you to strip. If you were just another guy with a webcam who I jacked off to-" Sehun paused to cough; Lu Han was still quiet. "-I wouldn't have cared so much after the first chat. Talking is effort and I don't like it. With you it was okay. More than okay. You're funny, interesting, and _not_ pretty when you laugh."_ _

__Lu Han didn't get out of bed or slap him in disgust. He nodded, fingers tracing along Sehun's bare shoulder. "You don't have the prettiest laugh yourself," said Lu Han, then he leaned over and kissed him. His mouth still tasted of salty-bitter come, and Sehun seriously contemplated eating pineapples regularly._ _

__"You weren't suspicious at all when I started talking to you more and more?" Sehun asked when they pulled away._ _

__"Are you kidding? At the exact time you pm-ed me the next day I was arguing with myself whether I was gonna change IDs again or not."_ _

__Sehun knew this was Lu Han's natural preservation instincts kicking in (his long, frequently frowny face wasn't exactly an advertisement for sunshine and friendship), but he did feel a teeny bit offended. "But you didn't. Saw something worth keeping, maybe?" He waggled his eyebrows for effect._ _

__Lu Han rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "Don't hold your breath, hotshot."_ _

__"Aw, come on." Sehun nudged his shoulder, purposely being whiny. Lu Han would give in._ _

__And he did. Lu Han sighed dramatically. "Remember when we talked - no, argued - about the best Final Fantasy game and I called you weak for saying FF8 was the best? You were so - so passionate about it." Upon seeing Sehun's face light up, Lu Han held up a hand. "My opinion hasn't changed on the game, by the way, so don't get your hopes up. Were you mad at me then?"_ _

__Sehun's memory of that argument had faded. It was one of the first discussions they had, almost a week into talking. Sehun did remember defending the game quite passionately, even though Lu Han called the game lame. Sehun tried to prove the game cool while simultaneously hoping his growing attraction wasn't obvious. "No, I don't remember being mad. But why bring it up?"_ _

__Lu Han looked oddly shy again. "I thought you were kinda hot when you were so revved up about something. It was so different, because I was used to seeing you as this adorably meek little-"_ _

__"I'm taller and broader than you-"_ _

__"Baby bird. You had that platinum blond back then, too, so you were like a giant tweety bird," Lu Han finished with flourish, ignoring Sehun's scowl. "I dreamed about you that night. That pretty much killed all tweety thoughts. I wanted to see how you'd be like if you were gung-ho on things that aren't video games."_ _

__"Was it a vanillaQT-appropriate dream?"_ _

__Lu Han smiled mysteriously, thumbs rubbing back and forth along Sehun's collarbone. He really liked that part of his anatomy, Sehun noticed. "I think it would've made CuttinUrVeggies proud."_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you tapedworm @ lj for the wonderful prompt, and thank you to everyone who commented on the original entry. 
> 
> This just attempted to make something NC-17 out of a PG-13 prompt, because back then, I really couldn't write any exo fic without some form of mansex.


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